Really Really DON’T Wanna Post!
I guess that is when I need to suck it up and just post anyway. Today is one of those days. Yesterday got a little slippery at the end of the day. Both good and bad were the result. After church last night, I decided to take the kids for icecream before going home. I know, bad idea since it is a weakness. I did good. On the way there, I was planning to get one for me, but talked myself down off the cliff by the time I ordered. Got 3 cones. One for each of my kids. My oldest is a stinker btw. He wanted McD icecream cuz he likes choc. He was out voted for Sonic. He took 4 licks from his cone and said he was never going to finish it. I’m thinking, that looks pretty good and of course SHARING an icecream is not soooo bad. I tell him if he can’t finish it, I will since I didn’t get one. The little BRAT (I swear it was on purpose for not getting him choc) looked at me, and handed it over. A WHOLE cone!! Now, I know we aren’t garbage disposals, but I just couldn’t waste it especially when I WANTED it!! I ate the dam thing. I guess I lost that war. It will be a long time before I take them out for icecream again!!
Ok, what do we do when we cave to one thing?? Throw in the towel. Hubby called me and said we and our friends were going out for a VERY late night supper. He was getting off work at midnight. Told him he was crazy, but if that is what he wanted, fine. I was game. I’m not sure why this hit my trigger, but I already caved on the icecream, and I was slipping down the slope. As soon as I hung up with him, I went to the kitchen and grabbed 4 peanut m&m’s. Not so bad. Ate them walking into the living room. I’m tired, I’m wound cuz I just wanted to go to bed and now we have a mid-week late night happening. I’m pacing around the house, and I swear, I had decided to finish the bag of m&m’s. I practically marched back to the kitchen to grab them. Like what does this really prove??? It is insane!! Opened the bag.. grabbed a handful.. ready to pop a couple in my mouth. Suddenly I realized what I was doing. It is the VERY first time I have been able to break that cycle after I have that mentality going on. So, I put all but a few m&m’s back and put the bag back. I looked at them in my hand, and thought of Karen and her battle to gain control the last few days. I opened the bag back up, and put them back in. That’s how it goes. I eat a couple, get mad I did it, eat a couple more, get madder, eat the whole thing. If I would have had even one more, I would have lost the battle. Even told myself that if I touched that bag one more time, I was going to dump it in the toilet. I didn’t have to get that extreme. Something about the image in my head of having to get that exteme with myself to prevent eating was enough for me.
So, damage equalled 4 peanut m&m’s. Not horrible so far. Then we went to dinner. Remember, I already ate much earlier, but was tagging along for the social part. Decided to get an order of french fries. Looking back now, I can’t believe that was my decision cuz it SUCKED! I could have order HALF an order. Nope, full order. Or maybe a salad, nope. They weren’t even very good. Still ate most of them though. Bad decision, but it is done. Need to work on making better social eating decisions.
Today is a new day, and I’m doing ok. Not dwelling on it too much other than writing this post. Wanted others to realize that the cycle can be broken. I know I needed to know that!! Just think about what you are doing, and why, and is it truly the best choice. I’m working on making better ones, but I am truly thankful that I didn’t cave to the self destruction m&m choice. That is the one that causes me way more harm than an order of french fries!! Days and days worth of damage because it starts the cycle!
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I know why we get along so well! We are so alike. I do that same thing you did with the M&M’s. As I read it I thought to myself..”uh huh…yep been there done that many times!”
I am so proud of you for hanging on. LOL.. It is a new day and one day of a few bad choices does NOT ruin anything. You still have to live and love life. Lets face it. If you can’t have a few M&M’s….do I need to finish the sentence?
You are doing good. You ARE going to hit that 199 by Jan 26?? Was that the date? When you do, I am gonna send you something in the mail! You are gonna love it! Call it intensive to get there!
Make it a great day and remember. It is a life style change not a strict cant live with diet! You can have anything…within reason and moderation. LOL…I have to remind myself that often.
Beebee, you know we both have the same problem and we both will overcome it ! Good luck to you on our challenge and I will take it ! We can do it ! Now that means you have to get on every single day to tell me if you worked out or not and vice versa! Look forward to it ! Hugs, Kimmi
Oh M&M’s are EVIL. I love them so much, I don’t know how you can even have them in the house. I am impressed. I had a bad day yesterday too, today is a new day and we are back on track! Deal?
Good for you for not eating more than 4!!! I, like Karen also said, been there, done that many times. What is that chemical in our brains that tells us to just forgo everything and give in?? I wish I could take some sort of pill to stop that chemical from even manufacturing itself inside of me. But since there isn’t such a thing in a pill form, we have this website. You are my pill. Your story and others like it help to remind me that I’m not alone when I sneak 3 tootsie rolls in the middle of the night and convince myself that it’s not terrible because ‘they’re fat free’! Still a bad choice. Mind over matter girl; we can do it together!!!
You did a great job Beebee! I love M&M’s as well but won’t buy any. Like you said, today is a new day, no dwelling. Babys steps, baby steps and pretty soon you’ll be at goal.
Have a great day.
Actually, you did really well…think about it…stopping yourself from eating that whole bag..is just so wonderful…you really did great girl!! So very proud of you!!
Love Debbie
Any time you can refrain from what you are used to doing is a thumbs up for you. I go through that same type of battle, and it is very hard. But, I am proud you held off on the rest of the m&m’s. As for the fries, well, its done, don’t spiral from that. Today is another day to make a better choice.
If I had a nickel for everytime I did what you did with the M & M’s…I would be a very rich woman! It is crazy how we convince ourselves that we are getting back on someone or something by making bad choices for ourselves! But you did it! You realized what you were doing and you stopped. That is a huge thing! I also understand about the late night social thing…I am always stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to stuff like that. But it could have been so much worse than the fries and today you see the error of your ways…and your not beating yourself up about it…I would say you are making some BIG progress…
Hope you have a better day…=)
You stopped yourself how awesome!! I think you did amazing!! Keep it up!
Hey girl,
Be gentle on yourself. There were probably days when you could have done the whole bag in…eaten a couple of cones…had worse things to eat.
Hugs.
One small step for BeeBee…
One GIANT step for BeeBee’s weight loss journey.
Proud of ya girl!
Hugggggggggggggs,
Shan