Finally Friday
It has been an up and down week for me. I absolutely love you guys on here! I was crazy to stop coming here when I was struggling. I still don’t understand that, but I guess it was my form of avoidance. I remember the last time I logged onto this website before I started my avoidance. I was sitting here, reading blogs, and eating peanut m&m’s. I thought, “This is stupid. What am I gaining from doing this besides more pounds?” Instead of putting down the candy, I put away the website that was making me feel guilty about it. Well, it took me awhile, but I think I’m headed back in the right general direction. Yeah me!
I got into a fight with hubby over the phone yesterday. Of course it was over the phone because he didn’t get home until midnight (work). That just adds to my stress levels. He said he didn’t want to fight, I said fine. Bye. Not a great solution, but oh well. I was pissy. Really pissy. I was laying in bed and wishing him harm. Not a good thing at all. I took a deep breath and started praying for his well being and our mutual understanding of each other. After a few calming moments, I felt sane again. We still have some stuff to talk about, but it isn’t urgent. Not even sure it can be resolved, but we need to at least listen to each other in a calm environment.
Normally, anything with a sugar or fat content would have been consumed in rapid order. Nope. I did pretty dam good! I’m trying to focus on what triggers me and work at defusing it before I pop. Such as lunch time. I get pretty hungry by lunch. I go a little nuts and want to eat everything. I found out that popping a slice of whole wheat bread in the toaster first thing helps. That way I can eat that to take the edge off while I’m making my lunch I don’t lose it like I used to. It adds calories to my lunch, but not nearly as bad as icecream or m&m’s or some other insane food choice.
I’ve also been lighting a candle over my lunch break. Lunch by candle light. It is very soothing. A very nice calm in the middle of the work day. Wonderful and relaxing and revitalizing to make it through the rest of the day.
Anyway, I just felt a need to share. I’m still hanging in there one day at a time like every good recovering junkie. The scale said I’m down 2 lbs this week, but it is unofficial until Tuesday. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. Remember to eat purposefully and enjoy it! No mindless animal consuming! That’s what gets us fat!! 
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You’ve really come a long way baby!
I’m soooooooooo proud of you BeeBee.
I lit a candle at the office once. My secretary called in sick the next day because she said it did a number on her allergies. LOL
Hugggggggggggs,
Shan
Congrats on your loss, Love you too!
Btw, one of the movies is called “If Only” supposed to be a real good one!
LOL!! I love your blog!! I too am glad you’re back and blogging—and hey, I did the same thing—when I was slipping and sliding the worst is when I pulled out of the site—I felt like I wasn’t getting the support I needed, but then when I decided to look at the REALITY of it, I was whining left and right about my weight and how hard it was and how blah, blah, blah, blah!! So I pulled out—I even went as far as removing my whole account—of course, now it shows I am a new member–oh well! The thing is that it wasn’t that I wasn’t getting the support I needed, the problem was that I was paying too much lip service and wasn’t spending any time DOING the necessary things to change my lifestyle—
Sounds like something similar happened to you—now look at you finding ways to relax and unwind, finding ways to enjoy the food you’re eating, finding ways to avoid empty, careless calories and all these things, big and small add up to one important thing—and the one thing that let’s face it, makes us truly happy—a loss at the scale!!
For you it’s two pounds and forget Tuesday, celebrate today!!!
Anyway, I’m sorry you and hubby are having issues—and I am GLAD so GLAD that you decided to calm down before you broach the subject again. Sometimes I feel like you—there are some things that hubby and I have discussed over and over again to no avail—and to me, these unresolved issues are deal breakers, yet, we’re still not resolving them and we’re still not breaking the deal—LOL!!!!
I hope you and hubby find a happy medium!! Good luck and congrats again on losing 2 lbs. I don’t know about you, but I am not waiting until Tuesday to do the happy dance in your honor!!