Beebee

Well, I’m back. I haven’t actually been missing, but I’ve been pretty quiet lately. I come here for many reasons, which I’m sure I’m not the only one. This is a familiar and safe place to vent both life and weight loss issues. I’ve had my fair share of both lately. My hubby left for a month, and now we are trying to work things out. I know a lot of women here have been through similar things, so I don’t need to tell you how emotional this has all made me. I’m glad we are trying to work things out, but I’m really scared too. Now, for an emotional eater, this is hell on wheels. I sling shot back and forth between losing 6 lbs in a week to gaining 4 lbs a couple weeks later. I’ve been in WW for the past 3 months, and I’ve already lost 10% of my weight which is the first goal. That was exciting, but I haven’t developed the habits I need to actually be successful in my weight loss goals. I have been off track for the past month and a half. I’m now trying to make it a more structured priority because this just isn’t working for me. I can’t wait for things to settle down to lose weight cuz I’m just afraid that isn’t going to happen for a really really long time. I’ve started journaling my thoughts, feelings, and progress in maintaining control. I think it is going to help in the long run. Yesterday was my WW weigh-in, and I was sure that I was going to gain huge. I haven’t been doing well this week (emotionally eating that is) w/ hubby around. I ended up staying the same on weight, but that is still one pound up from my 10% loss, so that is frustrating. I’m hoping to get it off this week though. My mom and I are trying to lose together. We set 2 lbs as our goal this week. Not much, but enough that I have to actually try if I’m going to do it. Thank goodness for breastfeeding or I would probably be way up on weight right now. Got to love da baby!!

Oh, I also realized that I officially have LESS than 100 lbs to lose now!! That was exciting (and depressing) all at once! MY goal weight is 130 lbs which means I have ONLY 98 lbs to go!! Woohooo!! Yes, I know that is a whole lotta weight, but got to look on the bright side!

I guess Tuesdays just aren’t very fun when I know I haven’t done what I’m supposed to be doing. Usually, I’m very excited about going to my WW meeting on Tuesday night, but I haven’t been lately. Probably because I know I probably gained again this week, and I don’t want to face up to it yet. The battery is dead in my scale, my cupboards are bare (still haven’t got those groceries yet), and I guess I’m just depressed and having a difficult time caring right now. I know it will be better after I have a place to live. Right now, emotions are ruling and logic is out the window. Food doesn’t solve emotional pain, but I’m having a hard time with old habits right now.